


heaven all around me

by tytracki



Series: scenarios [7]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Drama, F/M, Fluff, Loss of Virginity, Summer Camp, church camp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2019-11-23 22:42:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18157991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tytracki/pseuds/tytracki
Summary: When you’re eight mark lee pushes you inside a lake. At nineteen you fall a little in love with him.





	1. Chapter 1

living in a small town meant a lot of things. it meant that there was no such a thing as keeping a secret because everyone knew everything about anyone that dared to breath. it meant everyone was raised inside a church and couldn’t miss the sunday mass for anything in this world. it also meant that every year, since you were seven, when the july heat finally came, you’d have to pack your things and spend four days away at the middle of nowhere at church camp. because apparently jesus wanted you to or whatever, it was a nightmare. summer was an awful season to be out and about like this and having to share a room with 20 other girls just made it all worst.

you hated the silly group dynamics and that every morning you would have to wake up early to help get the breakfast ready. but what you hated the most was that this year the only person that you cared about in this hell of a city wouldn’t be there. jung jaehyun had not only left you one year ago with the pieces of your broken heart in his hand, but he also left you alone to endure church camp all by yourself.

all the dramatics aside, it really sucked that you wouldn’t have his company during the four days there were about to follow, but thankfully, at 19, you would not only be attending the camp for your last time but you would only be there to monitor the children while staying in a cabin by yourself.

it couldn’t be that bad.

✱

(day one)

once upon a time, when you were just an innocent girl, at the sweet age of eight, you met mark lee. you probably had seen him before at church or at camp, but no interaction had been as memorable as this one.

mark, slightly taller than you even then, pushes your small body inside the lake. it was an accident of course but your eight year old mind couldn’t process that. so you scream and cry, trying your best to remember how exactly to swim even if the lake is not that deep, until jaehyun jumps in and saves you. always the good guy.

after you’re not almost drowning you proceed to call mark every bad word you know, which are not many since you have been raised inside a church. but still, he looks hurt when you call him ugly and mean.

you’re not upset about that anymore, of course. it’s been years and even if you haven’t really had a conversation with mark since then, you don’t hold any grudges. but still, as you walk inside what was supposed to be your private cabin and see him standing there, that’s the first thing that pops in your mind.

“oh, hello.” it’s what he says when he notices you. his baggage is up on one of the two single beds in the room, clothes folded neatly inside of it. on the bedside a bottle of water, earphones and a burt’s bees lip balm. he looks as surprised as you are.

“uhm, hi.” you say, pushing your own luggage inside and plopping down on the other bed. the cabin is small but cozy enough, there’s a fan in the ceiling that you’ll probably be thankful for very soon. “i thought i would be at the cabin by myself.”

“yeah, they said there weren’t enough cabins this year for that.” he scratches the back of his head like he feels awkward. “i actually thought i would be sharing it with another dude”

you raise one eyebrow at him. “do you have a problem sharing it with a girl?”

he lets out a nervous laugh. “what? no, of course not. it’s just that well, you know, it’s church camp.” he says and you can’t help but laugh for real.

there’s a pause where he eyes you for an uncomfortable moment and in a blink he’s looking away. you can already feel a drop of sweat going down your neck from the heat. you hate summer. “i’m mark, by the way.”

you scoff at that. “come on, you don’t have to introduce yourself. i know who you are, you dumped me in a lake remember?”

the look of terror in his face is comical and you can’t help but let out a laugh. everything about mark so far has screamed shy boy, even if you know he can be quite the opposite around his friends. “oh my god? you remember that?” he asks, voice sounding funny.

“of course, pretty hard to forget the first time someone pushed me in a lake.” you indulge him, moving to open your backpack and place your own things at the bedside table. “only time actually.”

“look i’m so sorry, i swear it was accident.” it’s cute how he starts babbling like you would actually still be upset about the whole thing. you turn to throw a smile his away.

“relax, mark. i know. i didn’t mean it when i called you mean.” he looks almost relieved.

“what about me being ugly?” it’s weird how your heart warms up a bit at the fact he remembers exactly what you said back then. you stare a bit at the bedside table before replying. your orange water bottle and carmex lip balm standing next to his own things.

“maybe i didn’t mean that too.” you tease, looking at him again with a smirk on your face that he returns with a laugh.

he has finished setting his things up, now sitting on his bed like you were moments ago. you finally take in how he looks, jeans and a t-shirt that has the drake praying hands on the right. his face still resembles his eight year old self but he definitely has grown into a handsome man, round eyes and all.

“still, it was pretty low of you to say that back then.” his words get you out of your mini daze.

you finish up your things too, not bothering to do much because you know everything will be a mess in a couple of hours. “i’ll admit i was pretty savage at eight.” you reply back and enjoy the sound of the laugh he lets out. you’re glad it’s not weird with him, it would be awful to share a room for four days with someone you didn’t really get along with.

it’s silence for a couple minutes after that, only the sound of people moving around outside. you notice he avoids your eyes a bit but it’s not at all uncomfortable.

you break the silence by asking if he knew what you two would have to do for the rest of the day and you don’t even mind when he proceeds to tell there will be a fire pit and marshmallows at night.

✱

(day two)

one thing you can say for sure is that summer is the worst of all seasons. you think about that as you wake up with a layer of sweat covering your body. your leg starts itching, probably because of a bug bite and you groan trying to scratch it with your left foot. you have no success.

last night fire pit had been fun, the kids behaved and you probably ate more s’mores than you should, your tummy hurting a little bit after. the bug bites you got from it though, not so funny.

you remember mark playing that church song on his acoustic guitar and a silly smile finds its way to your lips. you never really noticed mark much before, but yesterday as you spent more time with him you couldn’t help but get acquainted with some of his habits.

the way his nose scrunches sometimes, how he does his best to guide and help when a kid comes asking for help, how he hums pop songs when he’s bored. you pay attention when he jokes around his friends and can’t help but laugh at how silly he is. he insisted that you sat with all of them during meals since jaehyun was well, your only friend and now you didn’t have anyone to sit with.

at night you notice how he applies the burt’s bees chapstick like his life depends on it, and after you question it he explains that his lips get chapped during summer.

you find it cute how he prays before sleeping and when he mutters good night you say it back while your stomach goes a little wild with butterflies. and too many s’mores.

you get up from the bed quietly, doing your best not to wake him up and try not to curse out loud when you can’t pick short shorts and a tank top for your daily outfit because it just wouldn’t be appropriate for the ambient.

you meet up with mark and his friends for breakfast an hour late, wearing adequate length shorts and a snoopy blue t-shirt that is a little too big for you. your monitor bottom stuck on it.

“do you already know what college you’re going to, ______?” renjun asks, cereal still in his mouth and you find it a little gross. you’re sitting on a table with him and three of mark friends that you’re familiar with, but not friends with. until now that is.

“oh, i think i’ll be going to snu.” you say, rolling around the spoon on your own bowl of cereal.

“mark is going there too!” jeno, another one of mark friends, says excitedly just as mark arrives at the table with a tray of food in his hands.

“i’m going where?” he asks, sitting right next to you and you can’t help but feel like a silly teenager when your heart flutters at how your knees touch.

“to snu! _____ is going there too.” jeno replies and mark’s eyes widen as he looks at you.

“well, i’m not really su-“ you start saying but mark cuts you off by saying a little too cheerful.

“that’s so cool!” he exclaims, grinning around the food he is putting in his mouth.

you nod, smiling back at him.

the rest of the day goes by smoothly, you lead a group of sweet girls on the track and they don’t give you much trouble beside one that falls down and starts crying. you manage to calm her down pretty fast though, and soon she’s moving around like nothing happened.

during the afternoon you and mark watch as the kids have fun at the lake. you and him stay by the border, legs swirling around the water as you talk about things that don’t really matter but still make you feel nice. he tells you about the songs he likes and promises to make you a playlist when he has access to spotify again. you both exclaim in join as you find out about your mutual enjoyment of bittersweet foods and you tell him he definitely needs to try the dark chocolate ice cream at the place just across church. he tells you you’ll have to take him there someday and you agree.

you spend more time talking to mark than watching the kids and when he asks if you want to just say fuck it and swim too you say yes. the water is slightly cold and your t-shirt clings to your skin in an unpleasant way but you have fun as mark chases you to try and splash water on your face.

when the night comes you realize you have talked to mark so much that you feel like you have been friends for ages. it feels so comfortable and familiar that when you both lay down to sleep you’re still chatting, only stopping when he realizes it’s midnight and you’ll both wake up early tomorrow.

you dream of the sun and of his smile.

✱

(day three)

if someone asked mark what could go wrong at church camp a few years ago he would say that probably not much. maybe there could be a problem with the children or the lake but besides that everything stayed peaceful like it should be.

but right now, as he wakes up to your sleeping body on the bed next to him, he thinks that there are a number of things that could go wrong. you sleeping is not the problem here, of course not, it has been three days now since you’ve been sharing a room and he’s more than used to your little snores. the problem is the way your blanket had moved a lot during the night because you couldn’t keep still. the problem is how the single t-shirt you wear to sleep has ridden up quite a bit and the first thing his eyes are met with when he gets up is your ass, clad in baby pink panties.

it’s a lot, it really is. he’s sure he’s about to get a whiplash or something like that because for one he has never seen a girl wearing less than a short skirt outside the porn he sometimes watches. two, he shouldn’t be staring at you like this, wishing he could touch and wondering how soft it would feel. three, he definitely shouldn’t rush to the bathroom to jerk off in the shower while thoughts of you underneath him fill his mind. on church camp of all places.

still, he strokes his dick as images of you doing filthy things fill his mind in an intoxicating way. he wonders what jaehyun made you do to him, wonders if you gave him head.

wonders if he gave you head and as the thoughts of his head between your legs hit him he comes with a quiet moan.

he feels guilty as he watches his come mix with the water and fall down the drain. he thinks about how he is going to confess to the priest about doing this, thinks that there’s no way he can do it.

he goes back to the cabin to find you already awake, shorts on this time as you down what he thinks is your birth control pills. your hands bring your orange water bottle to your lips and he can feel his cheeks heat.

“why did you wake up so early, dude?” you ask, after swallowing down the water. if you notice the way he’s acting you don’t mention.

he sits down on his bed, grabbing his phone so he can distract himself with something, anything. a puppy shows up in his instagram feed, he thinks you’d like it. damn. “don’t know. it was too hot to sleep

maybe.” he says, looking up from his phone.

you have your back to him, rummaging through your luggage for clothes to wear for the day. he stares at your ass, the shorts you’re wearing not doing much for you, while you say something he doesn’t quite catch.

you try your best not to laugh when you turn around and he fails very miserably at trying to look away quickly. “i’m off for a shower. do you want to meet up at the cafeteria for breakfast after?” you ask.

“sure.” is his reply as he watches you nod and then leave the room. when the door closes behind you he lets out a groan against his pillow.

✱

(day four)

people ask you about jaehyun all the time. they ask if you have heard of him (yes, you have), if he’s enjoying college (yes, he is), if you miss him (yes, you do). they ask about him so much that it’s not a surprise when marks does it too.

“are you still friends with jaehyun?” he asks knees nudging yours. you’re both sitting on his bed, backs pressed against his wall and fan making your hair wave a little.

“yes.” you say without hesitation “i don’t think we will ever stop being friends, i’ve known him for my entire life.”

mark hums and you know he understands. he mentioned a boy named donghyuck and how they have been for friends for so long that they can always tell what the other is thinking sometimes. “do you talk often?” he asks.

“sometimes.” it’s true, you used to text a lot more but after the last time you thought he was avoiding it. he had texted you at two am, probably drunk for a party and talking about how much he missed you. you had given in, saying the things he wanted to hear and even after he apologized the morning after a lump still formed on your throat when you thought about it. you missed him, there was no denying that.

mark seems to notice the sudden change in your mood because he doesn’t press on the subject anymore.

“what about you and yeri?” you decide to ask to break the silence. yeri was the girl mark dated for about 3 months, she was cute and petite and everyone including found that they made a cute pair together.

you find the awkward laugh he lets out cute. “uhm, we don’t talk anymore.” he says, picking at his nails. “we were never really friends to begin with.”

“oh.” is you smart reply and then you’re saying something that is probably slightly dumb and offensive. “i was pretty shocked when i find out you two were dating, i can’t really imagine cute little yeri having sex.”

you laugh as he blushes and starts shaking his head. “no, oh my god.” he stutters, avoiding your eyes. “we never did anything more than kiss, she…i…well, we both wanted to wait.”

you realize then that it was a silly thing to say, not every relationship had to revolve around sex. you apologize and he just shakes his head saying it’s okay. “uhm… what about you?” he asks, risking a look your way. “and jaehyun.”

you shift a little on the bed. “we did.” you say lowly. “it’s kind of stupid really. see, i thought we were getting married so there was no point in waiting.”

his mouth forms a little o and he nods, his eyes are a little glazed you notice and there’s a want in the back of your head that wants to kiss him.

“i don’t really care about that anymore.” he mutters, his legs move and you feel it touch yours. “waiting i mean. i still respect what it means, of course, but i’m not like living by it anymore.”

you nod, eyes staring at him until he looks back at you. it feels like a lot of time passes and it’s just silence and the sound of the fan. you are suddenly hyper aware of the fact he has pretty lashes and that his cheeks are slightly pink. you notice the few acne scars and the fairest trace of an stubble on his chin. he looks handsome and his eyes are staring at your lips.

you move in first, lips touching his with care and at first he stays still. a second passes and he’s kissing you back, hand moving to your neck as he moves closer to you. he’s a good kisser for someone who’s probably not very experienced, you ponder that you probably aren’t either since the only person you’ve ever kissed was jaehyun.

he tastes like the burt’s bees chapstick when you lick his lips to deepen the kiss. he whines at the way your tongue moves against his, quick to follow and your hands go to his shoulders. you kiss for what feels like hours until you start to get uncomfortable by the position and move to place yourself on his lap, lips not leaving his.

in a very quick second you sit down on his lap, maybe a bit too roughly and you feel his hard on press against you. it shouldn’t be a surprise, you’re a little affected yourself even more when moans against your mouth because of the small friction.

you stare at him, his lips swollen and pupils blown out. there’s a blush definitely painting his cheeks now. “sorry.” he whispers, avoiding your eyes.

“it’s okay.” you say voice soft and you take a moment to think about it, think if you should say what you want to. “mark, look at me please.”

you run a finger through his hair and his eyes finally meet yours. his hands stay at your hips while you move to press a peck on his lips and then another. “please, don’t think you are obligated to accept this.” you start, biting the lips in the process. “but would you like to fuck me?”

his eyes widen before his mouth is forming an o. “yes, please.” is what you say and you feel you your inside tingle at it.

“do… do you want me to?” he asks and you’re nodding enthusiastically in a second.

“i really want you to.” and then you’re kissing him again. it’s still slow and gentle but messy in a way the you like. your hands find their way underneath his t-shirt and you bask in the way he’s so sensitive about everything you do. just the brush of your finger against his nipple has him whining against your tongue.

you grab the hem of his t-shirt, signaling for him to help you remove it and he does. when he finally throws it across the room you start pressing kisses all over him, on his neck, his chest. his hard on presses against the inside of your thigh and you feel yourself clench at the thought of having him inside of you.

you remove your top as well, leaving your bralette on for the time being. when you look at mark he’s staring right at you, the look in his eyes so sinful that you are sure you’re going to hell. it’s sin how good you’re feeling and it’s a sin that you’re about to take his virginity here of all places on earth.

“don’t you want to touch me, mark?” you ask, and he blinks at you.

✱

mark feels on heaven. he feels warm all over, so hard in his pants that he’s afraid that tiniest action from you will make him come. he watches as you remove your top, eyes almost black from lust.

he can feel your eyes on his face but he can’t look at way from the way your lacy bra looks against your breasts. they’re not doing a very good job at covering because he can see your erect nipples peeking through it. he wonders what it feels like.

there’s a necklace on the valley between your breasts, a cross to be more specific, and it raises a little with every breath you take. it looks sinful.

he blinks when you ask if he wants to touch. he does, so desperately that in a second his hand is moving against your boob, feeling how soft it is against his palm. you moan when he teases your nipple and he swears no other sound is ever going to top this.

you look beautiful, breathtaking, even more so when you reach for your back to remove the bra completely. you’re left with your chest bare against him, moaning again when he can’t help but buckle his hips up against you. your hands go to his shoulders for leverage, your lips meeting his again and it feels like bliss.

he lets his hands wander on your chest and it seems to please you if the way you start rolling your hips slowly is any indication. it’s so good that he can’t focus on anything besides it, can’t even keep kissing you, mouth falling open just as his eyes. “fuck.” he mutters as an electrifying wave of arousal runs through his body and he grips your hips tighter, urging your movements on.

“feeling good?” your voice is dripping honey, whispered right at his ear and he feels like he could come right now. just let it go but he doesn’t want it to end, wants to feel you around him.

“yeah.” his voice is raspy and when you smile at him he swears he falls a little in love “really want to fuck you.”

you move up from the bed, his eyes watch as you take off your shorts and panties in one swift motion. his mind feels dizzy and he swears he’s about to have a whiplash at the sight of you naked in front of him. for him. “you have to prepare me a little before we can do it because it has been a while.” you say as you climb up his lap again, he notices there’s a blush on your cheeks probably shy from being naked around him. “can you do that?”

he nods, moving to kiss you again. “how?” he has an idea, has seen how they do it on porn but he doesn’t want to do anything you don’t like so he waits for your guidance.

you take his hand in yours, the size difference making his heart do something weird, and guide it to your bare pussy. you press two of his fingers on top of what he assumes is your clitoris, and with yours on top you start drawing little circles on it. your eyes flutter close. “just like this.” you sound a little breathless. “then you can put your finger inside me.”

he nods again, moving his fingers like you guided him when you move your hands away to grip at his shoulders again. after a while he moves his finger down, feeling around until he finds your entrance. you’re really wet is the first thing his mind registers, so wet that when he presses his finger inside of you it slides in easily. it’s warm and spongy and he wonders how the hell he’s going to fit inside of you when he barely manage to accommodate his second finger when he presses it in.

you put on a show of whining and moaning, head pressed against his neck as you try to ride his fingers. it’s a sight to see, a sight he’ll probably never forget. he can picture himself in 5 years still jerking off to this, the way your breasts felt against his chest and how you moved up and down his fingers, making them wet.

he takes a deep breath when you say you’re ready. takes another one as you help him get rid of his shorts and boxers. another as you eye the way his dick stands against his stomach, eyes hungry. he takes the last deep breath when you move on top of him again, calming his worries about a condom by saying it’s okay, you’re clean and on the pill and all he can do it let his eyes fall close as you sink down on him slowly.

he tries to keep his eyes open, wants to see this moment so he can remember it too but it’s too much. to warm and too tight and he has to grip your hips tight to prevent himself from buckling his hips up and sliding all the way inside of you in one go.

you sigh when you finally bottom up and he opens his eyes, immediately staring at his cock buried inside your cunt and when you clench around him, probably just to tease, he has to count to ten so he doesn’t come right there. “oh my fucking god.” he breathes.

“you feel so good, mark.” you don’t sound like one of the porn stars he watches. it’s much better and he wants to stay like this forever, feeling you warm and flush against him. wants to taste your lips on his forever.

“you too.” he replies, hissing when you suddenly start moving. “i feel like i’m gonna come at any moment.”

you laugh a little at that, moving a little faster. “i’m pretty close too.” he can see the way your cross necklace jumps at little with your breasts and the way you’re bouncing up and it’s a little too much for him. he lets self control aside as he starts moving with you, hips bucking up upwards in quick motions and he thinks he’s doing the right thing by the way you moan his name.

he comes suddenly, not because of anything in particular, just a stroke that felt too good and he’s filling you up, trying to press as deep as he can. his visions going black for a little and he can only make the outlines of you rubbing your clit in fast motions before you’re coming too, clenching around him and making him shiver from oversensitivity.

your body falls putty against him and neither of you make any signs to move.

✱

you feel exhausted as you let yourself fall into mark’s arms. his breath is a little ragged like yours and he keeps his eyes shut close, and head on the wall as he runs his hands mindlessly through your back.

“we should move and get cleaned.” you say as quietly as possible. as if anything louder than that would disturb the moment. it’s hot and clammy in mark’s lap but warm and nice at the same time, the room smells so much like sex and like him that it makes everything more real.

you move from his lap with a sigh and plop down on his bed with your head following on his pillow. he gets up to look for something, clothes maybe and you close your eyes and hold back the want to cry. you have no idea why you are getting so emotional, maybe because this is the first time you had sex after the breakup, maybe because this is the first time you kissed someone after jaehyun.

as you feel the mixture of your cum and mark’s running down your thighs you realize it’s because it felt right to do it with mark and now you have to let go of the thought you were holding so tightly to, the thought that jaehyun was the only one that would ever make you feel like this. that you were meant to be.

mark comes back, a baby wipe in his hand and he offers it to you. you blink away the tears that were trying to form and start cleaning yourself. “are you okay?” he asks, throwing on boxers and a t-shirt.

“yeah.” you reply, throwing the baby wipe away and putting on the t-shirt he offers you. it smells like him and it feels right against your skin. “i think i got the sheets dirty.”

he shrugs, saying it’s okay since you’re leaving tomorrow morning anyway. when he lays down on the bed next to you it dips and you let him throw his hands around your waist, bringing you closer to his chest.

when you close your eyes you remember when you thought for a brief moment in the past that jaehyun was your soulmate. now your mind laughs at the thought because how would jaehyun be your soulmate if mark is making you feel the same way he did.

you let yourself fall asleep. tomorrow is a new a day.


	2. sunshine all around me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When church camp is over you go home and don’t think about soulmates anymore. You think about graduating, you think about dreams that you can go after and you think about a boy pushing you inside a lake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry for the sudden change to upper case!

When church camp is over you go home and don’t think about soulmates anymore. You don’t think about not being the same anymore, or about people leaving you behind. You think about graduating, you think about dreams that you can go after and you think about a boy pushing you inside a lake.

Mark is different from Jaehyun, but similar in a way. He’s comfortable, warm and easy to be around. But he doesn’t treat you like you might break, like a delicate thing, the way Jaehyun did. You find out that you like it.

Mark is different from everyone you have ever met in this small town. He thinks big, outside what everyone seems to want him to do. He wants to chase his dreams just like you, and maybe with you if you get to be this lucky.

It’s a wednesday afternoon, summer break almost at the end and you try not to think about what that implies. Mark is showing you his vinyls as you both sit cross legged on his bed and of of them plays in the background. It’s mostly old stuff, classics that his father passed along, and even if you don’t know half of it you enjoy listening to him talk with such excitement.

“I don’t have a lot of new stuff.” He says, sorting around the albums and getting a pink one out the box he keeps them. “But I got this one recently… Have you heard it?”

He shows you an album that you finally recognize and you can’t help but laugh a little. “Harry Styles? Didn’t take you for a One Direction enthusiast, Mark Lee.” You tease and he blushes at little, shaking his head and laughing with you.

“I swear I’m not.” He says, defending himself and you just nod playfully like you don’t believe him. “But his solo stuff is like, really good. You gotta give it a listen.”

He hands you the album and you examine it. It’s pretty and you like the pink tones. “Yeah? What’s your favorite track?”

“Oh… It’s actually a song that reminds me of you.” He avoids your eyes a bit, his words confident but his body language saying otherwise. It’s extremely endearing. “It’s the one called Only Angel.”

You never heard the song but the name alone and the fact Mark has a song that makes him think of you makes your heart flutter. “Really? I’ll definitely have to listen to it now.”

You give him a sweet smile that he reciprocates, shifting around the bed so he can put the vinyls away. “I hope you like it.”

“I’m sure I will.” You probably won’t even care if the song is bad. You would probably enjoy anything if Mark told you it made him think of you.

“You know what we should do?” He asks after moving the vinyls away and plopping himself on the bed again so he’s on his back, arms sprawled around. You move to tickle at his exposed tummy without hesitation and he laughs while squirming around.

“Get ice cream?” You guess and he smiles nodding his head.

You walk to the ice cream parlor hand in hand, some people giving second glances your way. You don’t mind it, just laugh when Mark swings your arms together in a silly way.

The two of you haven’t talked about what happened and what is happening yet. You don’t feel the need to and apparently neither does Mark. It’s easy when he kisses you and it tastes like dark chocolate ice cream, and the memory of someone that tasted just like this once is faint.

✱

You meet Mark’s mom a month after summer camp. You have seen her before of course, at church and whatnot but it’s different this time.

Classes are back but you still go to his house frequently, but now it’s after school and his mom there sometimes so he says it would be better if you two met before something awkward happens. Like her finding his catholic son doing not so catholic things.

It goes well, your hands sweating a bit, even more when Mark calls you his girlfriend for the first time.

“Girlfriend, huh?” You tease after his mother has left for work again and you both retrieve to his room.

He looks like a deer caught in headlights, laughing in a nervous way. It’s so easy to rile him up. “Oh. I-I just thought that it would be okay.” He stumbles over his words, talking a bit too fast. “Sorry for not properly asking.”

You laugh, sitting on his bed and gesturing for him to come forward. “It’s okay, Mark. ‘M just teasing.” Your hands settle on his arms, tugging him down so you can get a kiss. “I like being your girlfriend.”

He hums before kissing you, sweet and warm like always, hands on your hair to tilt your head in a better position. You love the taste of his chapstick and how he looks at you with puppy eyes when you break the kiss. “You do?”

You nod. “And I like kissing you too.” He kisses you again, deeper this time with his tongue licking against your lips until you finally part them, letting his tongue move against yours in a way that has become familiar.

He moves you further to the bed during the kiss in a messy way that you don’t mind. It’s nice to have him on top of you, your hands gripping at the hair on his nape as he kisses you with a bit more purpose.

“What else do you like?” He asks when you break the kiss to catch your breath. He sounds confident, almost seductive and it’s such a high contrast to the boy who lost his virginity to you in a church camp that you can’t help but tease.

“Hmm, let me think.” You joke, hands moving to his neck and he shivers a little while smiling at your antics. “I like how you feel on top of me, Mark.”

You notice his eyes are blown now, mouth parting at your words. “What else?” He asks again, in an almost whisper now.

“I like… when you fuck me.” You whisper back, stuttering a bit as your cheeks go pink to match his. Once upon a time, you would never even think of saying these words, but everything with Mark feels so natural that it makes you brave. “And I like your cock.”

The words just escape you and it’s so dirty that you have to close your eyes in embarrassment. “Holy shit.” Your hear him saying with a breathy voice, almost close to a moan, before he’s kissing you again and you don’t have time to be embarrassed anymore.

It goes like it usually does, Mark dips his hand underneath your skirt and plays with your clit until you’re as wet as he likes. He doesn’t need instructions anymore when he makes you cum with two of his fingers inside, his eyes watching with lust.

He doesn’t need instruction anymore when he finishes getting the condom on and enters you with a moan that you mimic. It’s blissfully almost, but there’s a thought in the back of your head that says more would be good too.

“Mark…” You breath out after another slow thrust, his head immediately coming up from where it’s resting on the curve of your neck. “‘M so close. Please fuck me harder.”

It’s the first time you’re asking for that, his eyes widening a bit. “Harder?” He asks, and you would find it cute if he didn’t look so good with his hair a bit sweaty and lips puffy and red from kissing.

You nod quickly, gripping harder at his back as if to accentuate your want. “Please.” You plead and he mutters a quiet okay before changing the pace of his movements.

He was always so gentle, almost careful, with this, so it catches you out of breath when he starts fucking into you with quick sharp thrusts, each one accompanied by a grunt.

In no time he starts going faster too and it makes you moan his name. This is new to you just as it is for him, when he asks if it’s good all you can do is nod with whines falling from your lips.

You close your eyes and images of his hands around your neck one day fills your mind. Of his hand coming down in a slap that makes your ass red and tingle. You can’t imagine sweet and caring Mark doing something like that, but maybe that’s what makes the thought so good. Maybe that’s what makes you come with your whole body arching from the back and his name spilling from your lips.

He follows soon after, cursing when he finally finishes inside of you. One of his hand grips tightly at your waist, making you clench around him and he cries out.

You giggle when he plops himself beside you on the bed after throwing the condom away and putting his boxers back on. He looks relaxed now, without a care in the world as he cuddles you closer. For now you won’t think about the test you have tomorrow or how it scares you a little that Mark Lee is engraving himself in your heart without even noticing.

✱

You had forgotten that this would happen, even if your mother had told you a million times. She was beyond excitement that Jaehyun would be coming to visit his parents for a weekend, telling you about dinner plans and whatnot.

So when friday comes, you get home from school to find him sitting on your front porch. The same front porch he had kissed you for the first time.

He doesn’t notice your arrival until you’re clearing your throat and his head is shooting upwards. “_____!” His voice is half surprised, half out of breath, as he gets up from the stairs and stops for a couple uncertain seconds before he’s hugging you. “How long has it been, holy shit.”

You hug him back, a little out of breath from the strength he’s putting in this hug. “Hi, Jae.” You mutter against his chest, feeling a hundred of feelings twirling around your head. “Long time, huh?”

It had been almost a year since last time you saw him, during christmas and even then it was just a brief hello before he had to leave again. He looks the same, you notice when he breaks the hug, the only difference is his hair shade that’s just the slightest brighter now.

It’s not weird, the way he keeps a hand on your cheek. It’s caring and platonic, like everything that surrounded Jaehyun had been for you for the past years. “I really missed you.” He says genuinely and you say the same words back, hugging him again. “Do you have anything to do now?”

You shake your head. “Not really, why?”

“Then let’s get ice cream.” He says, giving you a smile that’s too familiar.

It’s not weird, you tell yourself, as he sits across from you outside the ice cream parlor across the church. It’s nostalgic, that’s why you get the weird feeling in your chest. You eat the dark chocolate one and he gets vanilla. You want to ask but you don’t.

“So you and Mark Lee, huh?” He asks around a scoop of ice cream, eyebrows raising at you.

You blush, feeling guilty for some reason. “Did my mom tell you that?”

“Mine actually. Apparently you’re the talk of town.” He’s teasing in a way that screams Jaehyun and you can’t help but laugh.

“Yeah, well, everyone likes Mark.” You mutter, finishing the last spoon of your ice cream. It was true, Mark, like Jaehyun once was, is the city’s favorite. He always say hello to everyone on the street and sings on church, there’s nothing much to unlike about him.

Jaehyun’s eyes soften. “Come on, everyone likes you too.”

“I doubt that.” You shrug, laughing a little uncertain. “I’ve been missing sunday mass a lot lately… they probably think I’m corrupting him or something.”

Jaehyun laughs with his whole body now, the one that you once considered your favorite in the world. “Like I corrupted you?” His sounds boyish, voice low so no one around would hear it.

“Jaehyun! Oh my god.” You exclaim, slapping his arm from across the table but laughing too. “What is wrong with you?”

“Sorry, sorry. Was just messing with you.” He apologizes insincerely, smirking around the spoon and looking down. “But hey, It doesn’t matter if these people don’t like you, right? You’ll be out of here soon.”

You nod, slowly. “Yeah, you’re right.” Just a few more months and you’ll be leaving just like Jaehyun did. You can already understand why he almost never visits, there’s no future here.

“Are you still going to SNU?” He asks and you nod in reply, a bubble of excitement on your stomach. “What about Mark?”

His question sounds like nothing more than that, but you know he wants to know if you’ll have to go through that again. Wants to ask ‘is Mark going to leave you like I did?’

“He’s going there too.

” You say with a small smile on your lips and you can practically hear his sigh of relief.

“That’s nice… really nice.” His voice is genuine and he looks at you now, with eyes warm and you remember a time where he felt like home. Not with bitterness, never that. “I’m really happy for you, ____. Mark is a nice dude. And it’s nice to see you living in your life, even if I find out about most of it through mom’s gossips.”

You laugh, reaching out for his hand and squeezing it. “I know, Jae. I promise I’ll do better at updating you on my latest news.”

For some reason, in your overdramatic mind, this feels like he’s finally returning the pieces of your heart that he took with him that day years ago. You would tell him that he will always be a part of your life, but there’s no reason to. He already knows because you will always be a part of his too. It was meant to be like this.

“But tell me, when did you and him even get together?” He breaks the sentimental moment.

“At church camp.” You immediately regret telling him because knowing Jaehyun, you know he’ll tease you about this for the rest of your life.

✱

You and Mark are cuddling in your living room couch, watching some tv show that he was really into but you didn’t catch the plot exactly, drifting asleep from time to time. Something about a bank heist or something.

He comes to your house a lot lately now that your mother finally got used to him, falling to his boyish charm like everyone around town. You usually did homework but graduation was close now, the old responsibilities not as heavy.

You’re almost falling asleep again, the sound of the tv show fading away when you feel his hand moving to your neck and you whine at him interrupting you. “Noo, I was almost asleep.”

He laughs softly, the one you love so much and suddenly you’re not that bothered anymore. “Sorry, baby.” The nickname has been a normal occurrence these days because the two of you had a fight, making him extremely loving afterwards, as if to apologize even if you weren’t upset anymore.

You watch him through sleepy eyes, eyeing the dark circles around his eyes and the stubble that he forgot to shave this morning. He continues to play with your neck, until his hand descend just a little and he starts to play with the little cross pendant you always wear, his eyes following the movement. “Jaehyun’s mother gave it to me…. the necklace, I mean.” It just escapes from you but he doesn’t seem bothered by the mention of Jaehyun, never is.

His eyes just move to yours, softening as he smiles at you. “I really like it.”

“Me too.” You mutter, moving to press a peck to hips because it seems fitting and because you want to. He seems to like it, pressing peck after peck on your lips until you’re giggling and telling him to stop.

“I had an idea.” He says suddenly, sitting up on the couch and moving you alongside. The tv show playing is long forgotten.

You look at him with a suspicious look. “Hm, what is it?”

“We should go on like, a road trip or something like that.” He says, eyes not leaving yours, almost pleading for you to say yes. “After graduation, to have one last memory and all that.”

“A road trip?” You ask, laughter in your voice. “Where would we even go?”

He thinks for a second. “I don’t know… To the beach, maybe? You always talk about how you want to go there.”

“It’s gonna be winter then, Mark. We won’t even be able to swim.” The two of you know you’re just arguing for the fun of it, when it comes down to it you’ll go anywhere with him.

“Come on, baby.” He whines. “We can go for the view. And we’ll be together so there’s no way it won’t be fun.”

You throw a little show of acting like you’re pondering if you should go or not before you’re smiling at him. “Yes, let’s have a road trip.” He celebrates with with a deep ‘let’s get it’ before pressing another peck to your lips, making you laugh. “Will your dad be okay with letting us borrow the car?”

“Of course, baby. We’re just two christian kids going on a religious journey, what could go wrong?” He says in a funny voice and you laugh even harder.

✱

Graduation comes in a blink, and soon after you’ve posed for pictures and gotten your diplomas, you find yourself with Mark in his dad’s car.

It’s sunny outside but still cold enough that you can’t keep the windows open for too long. By far not the perfect weather to go to a beach but you’re still excited when Mark pulls from the driveway and drives until you’re on the road.

You’re only one hour into the five hours drive when you start getting impatient. The song that plays on the radio a bit boring and the excitement of doing this making giddy. “Are you hungry?” You ask Mark just to say something, but if he is there’s a lot of snacks packed on the bag sitting on the backseat.

He laughs at your question. “Of course not, baby. We literally ate before we left.” He says, sneaking a glance at you with his kind eyes before he focuses on the road again. “Are you bored already? I told you can take a nap if-“

“Nooo.” You cut him. “I promised I wouldn’t fall asleep. Gotta make you company since I can’t drive.”

“Suit yourself.” He laughs again and it’s sweet, so sweet that you feel like a teenage girl with a crush. Since you’ve gotten in the car you have had this feeling in your stomach, like the butterflies that you felt when the relationship were just beginning are going crazy again. Maybe it’s because Mark is driving you to a place that he knows you’ll like, maybe it’s because you’re finally both alone without a care in the world. Whatever it is, you hope he feels the same way.

You look outside the window for a moment, the sun is weaker now and you hope it won’t be gone so soon. “Doesn’t this feel like a thing that would happen in coming of age movie?” You wonder out-loud, not taking your eyes out of the window.

“Like the ones you like to watch?” You hum as you pass by a theme diner that you wish you could stop by. “What’s the plot? Madly in love couple go on a road trip before college starts?”

You snort, ignoring the butterflies going even crazier at the little word. “That’s exactly what the plot is.”

“I would definitely watch it then.” His voice is teasing and it makes you laugh. “Especially if you were the main character.”

You let out a silly shriek and he laughs too. “Oh my god. Are you flirting right now, Mark Lee?”

“I don’t know… did it work?” He asks smugly, doing a kissy face without taking his eyes out of the road and you can’t help but give in, pressing a smacking kiss to his cheeks with a small giggle.

“It did.” There’s a silly smile on your face that he mimics. “You know it always does.”

“That’s kinda corny, not gonna lie.” He teases but still moves his hand to your lap so he can hold yours.

“Says the corniest man alive.” The offended gasp he lets out is so funny and well place that you spend the next minutes laughing until you’re tired.

You stay in a comfortable silence for the next hour, only making comments here and there, with the radio playing songs that you mostly don’t know. You wish you had remembered to make a playlist to listen to.

You almost doze off a few times but never falling completely asleep, sometimes watching Mark drive, in a way that’s weirdly attractive to you, and other times looking outside the window.

It stays like this until a familiar tune starts playing on the radio and you’re muttering an ‘oh my god.’

“Dude, no way.” Mark says excitedly as he moves to turn the volume up. It’s a song that he showed to you one day, one that was a part of his vinyl collection and you’re both giddy that a song that you recognize is finally playing.

You both hum and sing along to it while the singer’s voice blasts through the speakers. “And I take a deep breath and I get real high!” You sing loudly, making Mark laugh as he takes quick glances at you and your improv performance with your phone. “And I scream from the top of my lungs…”

“What’s going on?” You both scream with the radio, laughing afterwards.

As the chorus starts, you act on impulse and open the window so you can stick you head outside while Mark sings the ‘yeah, yeahs’ and drums on the steering wheel. You don’t even mind the cold wind hitting your face and making your hair fly around. You feel happy and in love and when you get inside again, looking at Mark, he has a smile on his lips that tell you he feels the same way.

✱

You finally get to the beach an hour later because you make Mark stop at another themed restaurant that you couldn’t let pass by, but it’s perfect because the sun is setting and it looks like something out of a movie.

“This is so perfect, Mark.” You breath out when you two finally make to the sand. You don’t mind the cold wind , actually think that it makes it even better.

“Yeah.” He lets out a sigh, his hair getting in all directions and his nose turning pink from the cold. “Was worth the drive, huh?”

You hum, moving closer so you can hug him. “Thank you for bringing me here.” He feels warm because of all the layers he has on, and his cologne is still strong making you sigh as you continue to watch the sunset with your head resting on his chest.

“Thank you for coming with me.” His words are muffled but so sincere that you’re hit with the wave of infatuation that has been building ever since you got into that car. Maybe ever since you took his virginity inside an old cabin. You could cry as you look at him, your eyes glassy as he meets them and gives you your favorite smile in the world.

“I love you, Mark.” You mutter quietly, like it’s a secret you share. It’s the first time either of you have said it, jokes about being in love aside, and it feels right.

“I love you too.” He says just as quietly and then you’re both giggling like silly before he kisses you.

It you still believed in soulmates you’d probably say Mark is yours, because that’s just how you are and that’s how it feels like. But you don’t believe in that anymore. You believe in the way you feel when Mark is around and you believe in the way he makes you smile without even trying.

And deep down you believe this is how it was meant to be all this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! you can support me on ko-fi.com/moondustis and request a fic there :)  
> i'm also on tumblr @ moondustis.tumblr.com


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